The person he is in my mind is so sweet. I wonder if that's what "love" is in many cases. You pick someone who you're attracted to, and then you subconsciously make them ten times better in your mind. You put them on a pedestal and worship who they are in your head. You don't even realize how insane it is that you'd kill to be with someone who is only half real, because the part you are in love with is usually wishful thinking and your own ideals. They become close to perfect and you don't even notice it. It's narcissism at its best, like you're in love with your own mind. And since you usually don't have a chance with the person you dream about, it just grows over time, especially if you see the person ever day. This is some pretty obvious shit but it's just kind of fascinating how people become obsessed with their own minds.

I feel like I can't breathe in this cage of a house. And yet she wonders why I can't wait for those five years to be up. Shitty post, I know, but this is how I feel most of the time.

( to him )

Today was the last day of midterm break. D; Been reading a lot of stuff by Chuck Palahniuk. I particularly love Invisible Monsters and Lullaby.

I wonder which day of the week I'll die on now.

Happy birthday to the amazingsupergorgeous Alicia Way. <3
Please go here for some sexyness. tyfyt. ♥♥♥

In a sick way it seems fitting that everyone is (relatively) happy except for me. Recurring deja vu. I mean, my ex-best friend is happier than she's been in awhile and all it took was coming to the conclusion that I'm not worth it. I want to lock myself up in a studio and create. Have some sort of fucking purpose. I'm hoping I'll get a lot of time to write over the break.

peace

\o/ I feel good for America. :'D Although the fact that that prop 8 passed is bullshit. Hopefully the lawsuits will go through. I don't have much to say, things with my friends are better than they've been in a long time. Talking to Steph in Romanian is fun. xD Midterm break starts this Friday! :D Have to study for a bunch of shit though tonight. :/ lol, this post feels like a twitter update...

Election day! I don't even live in the U.S but it's still exciting. LOL random post. VILLE VALO. Someone needs to make me a HIM mixtape so I don't feel guilty about having like 70 pics of him on my computer. ;___; AAAAH. I'm going to be so ridic excited tomorrow if Obama wins. :D i feel so spammish rn. :/


( ~self-indulgent ville valo minipicspam~ )

So the Decode video came out today. Superficial things first: Hayley is looking quite qt (sorry, ultimate girlcrush or something.) She's also rocking my dream hair colour, no joke. c: I love the forest shots, gtfo Twilight (lmao the part when he starts ~flying), blahblahblah. Paramore, I still heart you but please stop making songs for the Twatlight soundtrack. thx.

p.s. obama ftw! \o/

idle_graffito is my favourite fic writer, tbh. ♥______♥;
I haven't really been up to much lately. Saw House on Haunted Hill yesterday, great movie but the ending was disappointing. :/

HALLOWEEN FTW! >:D & HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY FRANKIE IERO! XD



Stay gold, Frank. <333 Hope you have a raddtastic day. PARTY HARD! :D Having your bday on halloween rocks no matter what~
& lol yes I did need to put a giantass picture of frank there! enjoy it ;D

( frank recs )

I've been dreaming the same person for three nights in a row. o__o I don't mind, but wow. SNW get out of my mind. Or not. Getting shitfaced drunk on Halloween is not an option this year so idk, I'll probably rent a movie, go online, and maybe watch some ~halloween specials~. I might have a Saw marathon. I haven't seen any of the Saw movies yet :o

( the one you love is never the one who loves you )

It's almost Halloween
everybody screeeam

I hate it when people leave you hanging. Just get it over with, stop stretching it out. You can taste fall in the air but this year it feels different. You know why.

I'm reading "Blindness" right now, it's good so far.

Everything is so bleak lately with the exception of pulsing red and occasional sweet dreams.

( last.fm )

People are never worth it.
Guess what motherfuckers? We all go to hell.

So, I "didn't feel well" and went home early because I didn't want to do my music retest. :/ Extremely stupid, I know, especially since I'm going to get a 0 on it. Even though this is just midterms it's going to kill my average. He said today's the last day of retesting, ugh. I just can't stand the humiliation though. fuckingcoward.
Born on a Blue Day came today, I've already started reading it and it's pretty interesting. I need some reading material for school anyway. [: This weekend I'm hopefully going to get the Dec issue of AP and something by Charles Bukowski. Wow, it's snowing rn. First snowfall of the season. (:

Someone shut me off.

I really want a Polaroid camera. I was thinking of getting a digital one again after my old one broke, but they're so much more interesting and they have a some sort of charm that can't be replaced by pixels on a screen. I really need to buy some books on photography, too.

This is random but I <3 dailygabespam. The best thing ever to wake up to in the morning. xD

I preordered deux. Trois isn't really worth it, honestly. The vinyl is pretty sweet but dnw the hoodie. wtf?! c: Negl, I'd probably still buy it just for the vinyl and the usb if I had a job and I could afford it. :x

I bought Another Mindless Rip Off today. My HMV barely has any msi....there's this little record store near where I live which I always pass but never go in for some reason. Note to self: get on that.

Records, records, records. What more could you ask for?

( last.fm )

Got a new layout, credit goes to city_wall. I like the new FOB song (Donnie), and I feel like Folie is going to be insanely epic! (:

Idk, I don't really have anything to say.

Be okay.

P.S I finally conforted her about it (yeah it was an e-mail but she'd probably ignore me irl). It felt so good I could fucking cry, as cheesy as that sounds. Anxiously awaiting your reply, darling. Take your time.

Had a lot of laughs with A today, which is annoyingly ironic, because after all, she's the one who charmed the one that gave up on me. I don't care about meaning anything to them anymore but how can they be so fucking heartless? These thoughts rise up over and over again. Thanks for making me even more cynical than I already am. I know it's tiresome how much I bring this up but I saw way too much of that bitch today. It's like everytime I see her I feel the knife digging into my back once more.

To end on a good note, I think I might be going to Sassyback! (:

Happy Birthday Saporta :D

Stay freshh <3
AND KEEP ON DANCIN